“We’re going to be lifelong friends forever!” is what you might have heard from someone you don’t even speak to anymore. Let’s talk about the unhinged truths, triumphs and potential traumas of your freshman year friend group.
Finding friends in your freshman year of college is like trying to find a new pair of shoes. It is scary to try them out, it can be awkward to see if they fit just right and uncertain about how long they will last — or even if they will last.
Finding a new pair of shoes is a dilemma that many freshmen experience, and will continue to experience for generations to come. What’s the reasoning?
There’s many answers to why your freshman year friend group did or did not work out.
One of the leading and most obvious reasons is random convenience. The friendship or pairing was random, but convenient. You met this person at orientation or while moving into your dorm, and in desperation to meet people in an uncertain and new setting, you needed a friend.
You might already know a few people, and they might know some people, so why not join forces? You are now looking at a random yet convenient friend group that somehow was formed.
Arguably, these are sometimes the best kinds of friend groups — and some of the longest lasting. Sometimes being shoved into a new situation with people you are forced to interact with is the answer to a lifelong friendship call.
Another possible scenario is that over time you will meet so many different people who you realize you have much more in common with, resulting in a drift from this newfound group. This is a completely normal part of the college experience, just like trying to see if that new shoe will fit.
Unfortunately, growing apart with people is inevitable, but it can help a person grow as an individual. While it might seem like it, this is not necessarily a bad thing. It is not a crime to grow and change, or find new people that contribute to your growth and change.
With this being said, the awkward interactions you will have with these people later in your college experience are in your hands. Should you choose to wave to that person or pretend you don’t see them while walking to class is up to you.
Another reason might be that you knew them in high school, so why would you not stay in touch in college? Again, it is very helpful to have familiar faces. It can relieve so much anxiety when going to college, especially if you choose to go out of state to a new city.
There are so many successful friendships and friend groups that last from high school to college, so don’t be discouraged at the idea of trying to make it work after graduating. If you are secure with people you were friends with in high school, you should not worry about the efforts to stay in touch. This is a triumph.
The adverse thing with having familiar high school faces surrounding your freshman year of college is that you realize they might have been different in high school than they present themselves now in college.
You might meet new people who you really vibe with and realize that your high school friends or friend group is holding you back or bringing you down. Think about high school being a bubble, and when you get to college, that bubble is expanded to so many possibilities and opportunities that were never possible before. You are going to meet so many new people, try so many new things and find yourself. Finding yourself might mean evolving from the same people you have known since elementary school. While this friend group might have been helpful to your life and development before, it sometimes is OK to kiss a good thing goodbye.
The last, and one of the more traumatizing yet comical reasons, is that your freshman year friend group was not who you thought they were at all. Seeing if that shoe will fit and last you a long time is essential to choosing who your friends are going to be.
You might have acquired a friend group and think, “Alright, this is it.” It might seem safe to assume that this is a secure selection of people you are going to associate yourself with, and maybe even go through life’s curveballs with. When experiencing the good, bad and ugly, seeing who sticks around is essential to seeing a person’s character.
You might realize that your freshman year friends are actually really bad people, and not the people you originally became friends with. Or you could actually end up really liking them more than you did before, or more than you thought you would. Or they could be downright insane, and you might question how you even were associated with them in the first place.
Truly, the possibilities are endless and sometimes inevitable under the “freshman year college experience” umbrella. Something that is really important to remember is to take everything with a grain of salt. Whether your freshman year friend group was awesome or terrible, it somehow built and instilled character development within yourself in one way or another.
Ansley Graves is a junior at UT this year studying business. She can be reached at [email protected].
Columns and letters of The Daily Beacon are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or the Beacon’s editorial staff.
