The season three premier of “Euphoria” traded its signature purple‑hued glam, grit and glitter — all tied to the luxurious lilt of Labrinth — for tumbleweeds, cowboy spurs and a whole new frontier of chaos.
I’m actually a new “Euphoria” fan — I watched the show for the first time this past January, so everything is still fresh in my mind heading into this season. That’s why I’m genuinely shocked that Sam Levinson had four years to write season three and still chose the easiest possible route: leaning into Western aesthetics in shows simply because they’re trending.
And those first 30 minutes? Brutal. Watching what Rue Bennett and Faye Valentine were forced to do to appease the cartel was straight‑up awful. It felt less like storytelling and more like Levinson typed into ChatGPT, “gross things drug mules have to do,” and ran with whatever popped out (literally).
Bennett being trapped in the same destructive cycle underscores just how endless her addiction to this lifestyle really is. She’s convinced herself that her “dream job” is managing the dark underbelly of drugs, strip clubs and chaos, but in reality, it’s just another elaborate detour, another way to outrun the problems she refuses to confront. Seeing her trapped in a $100 thousand debt to terrifying Laurie and sprinting straight into the arms of yet another scheme (working for Alamo Brown) is peak Bennett — proof that five years really didn’t change a thing.
Meanwhile, Lexi Howard rolling out of her crib like she was having “one of them days” nearly took me out. Personally, I’m not a fan of Lexi Howard. I only liked her when she was with Fezco O’Neill, but I do hope she finds success in the film industry. I’m interested to see how that storyline pans out.
Do we even talk about Cassie Howard? Because y’all … what was that? The sexualization was unreal. Fans have already taken to social media to voice their frustration with Cassie Howard creating increasingly bizarre scenarios under the guise of “content.” In this episode, she’s dressed as a dog, and in the teaser for next week, she’s literally styled as a baby. Twitter has been rightfully ruthless, with users voicing their disgust: “Just saw a pic of (Cassie Howard) in ‘Euphoria’ … I need someone to go through (Levinson’s) hard drive,” and, “’Euphoria’ S3 just dressed Sydney Sweeney as a full baby — pacifier in mouth, infant outfit — filming OnlyFans content. The writers put this in the script. She agreed to film it. This isn’t ‘edgy storytelling.’” Honestly, I completely agree.
Nate Jacobs is so eerily calm it’s unsettling. He walked in on his fiancée dressed as a dog and, although visibly confused, barely reacted — it’s giving is-he-on-the-same-drugs-Bennett-was-on-in-high-school energy. Is this the quiet before the storm? Because the whiplash is insane when you remember that Jacobs once called Maddy Perez a hooker for wearing a scandalous outfit at the town festival, only to now be casually chilling while his wife dresses up as a dog for “content.” The hypocrisy is wild, even by “Euphoria” standards.
Honestly, though, Jacob Elordi walked into his scenes channeling full Marshawn Lynch energy — “I’m just here so I don’t get fined” — and it showed in his scenes.
Speaking of Lynch, that was my favorite surprise of the entire episode. He acted so well that, at first, I genuinely wasn’t sure it was him. I found myself thinking, “wait, is that Beast Mode?” Even though his role is still under wraps for now, I’m really hoping he sticks around. His character energy fit the show perfectly.
The lack of an Angus Cloud memoriam was heartbreaking, and O’Neill getting slapped with 30 years felt cruel. With all the beyond-bizarre plotlines Levinson has written, fans would’ve gladly accepted one unrealistic twist if it meant O’Neill got even a sliver of happiness.
Perez, my queen who once proudly did not dream of labor, is suddenly working, and I need her to thrive. I’m really hoping her storyline comes together in a way that gives her the ultimate win she deserves.
Meanwhile, Jules Vaughn remains the show’s most boring character in my opinion, but I suppose we’ll see soon enough what her deal is this season.
This episode was unbelievable, but honestly, the craziest part might be wondering how any of them actually graduated high school.
Overall, the writing is as dry as the desert Bennett trudges through for the first ten minutes of the episode. Fans have absolutely dragged this premiere, with comments like, “’Euphoria’ was always provocative, but it was never gross. This episode was GROSS,” and, “’Euphoria’ going from an edgy teen drama to a drug cartel Western…? I’m confused.” And my personal favorite: “I. WANT. MY. PURPLE. GLITTER. ‘EUPHORIA.’ BACK.” Enough said.
At the end of the day, all I really need is a tell‑all with Labrinth and Zendaya as badly as Cassie Howard needs those $50 thousand wedding flowers.
Marissa Hunt is a junior at UT this year studying journalism. She can be reached at [email protected].
Columns and letters of The Daily Beacon are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or the Beacon’s editorial staff.
