Am I assuming too much if I say that most of us have had a rough past couple of weeks? A swine flu epidemic, Greek rush, Greek rush parties, hangovers from Greek rush parties, starting classes, starting college, having responsibilities and deadlines again after a summer of “One Tree Hill” and Chianti. (What? That’s just me?) Quite a jarring few weeks. It’s almost too much to handle, and it’s disconcerting to say the least. But why is that? Why am I surprised when things don’t go my way? Why do I think that all my weeks should be easy breezy?
For some reason, I have this thought at the back of my mind that I should always get what I want or get to do what I want to do, that I have a right to happiness at all costs. I only recently became aware of how strongly this idea affects me and my actions and has affected me for as long as I can remember. I thought I would talk about it for a moment today because maybe this idea is at the back of your mind too, and you haven’t noticed it either.
I think I shouldn’t have to work hard to get what I want; that it shouldn’t rain on my way to class because I don’t want to get wet; that my favorite TV show should come on at a more convenient time, when I don’t have that weekly meeting; that something is wrong if I am somehow prevented from doing what I want to do at all times. When things, inevitably, don’t go may way, I react like a petulant child with anger, irritability, frustration, tears, … the list, for me at least, could go on.
Why did I bring up this cheery topic of unhappiness? Surely, if you weren’t having a bad day before you read this, you are now. (Like the Ellen DeGeneres stand-up about depression medication commercials: “Are you sad? Do you feel lonely?” “Well, I do now!”) I think that sometimes our focus in life is too narrow, and we make things harder than they have to be.
Far be it from me to lecture or preach to you: I promise, that’s the last thing I want to do. But maybe in learning from my mistakes (and there are plenty of them) you can prevent a few of your own. A key I’ve found, in all the questionable wisdom of my 21 years, is to remember that most things in life aren’t that important like those cheesy posters in middle school said: 50 years from now, will (fill-in-the-blank-here) matter? Maybe, for you, it will indeed matter 20 years down the road that you didn’t get into this or that sorority, that you failed that class, that your girlfriend dumped you. I am not one to tell you how to prioritize your life. Did I mention that my summer consisted almost wholly of “One Tree Hill” episodes? Who I am to judge?
Instead I would like to say this: Think about what’s truly important to you, and let everything else fall to the wayside. (This is coming from the girl who, as my brother said, is low maintenance as long as everything goes exactly my way.) Sometimes it’s hard to focus on the forest for the sake of the trees, I know. Nobody’s perfect, which is precisely why we, or at least I, need to be able to let go of my own preferences once in awhile and let things slide past me.
If, I have found, you can not only let less important things slide by, but laugh at them as they go, you’ll be much better equipped to navigate this road we call life. “Life is too important,” Oscar Wilde said, “to be taken seriously.” So permit yourself to laugh at those situations that could otherwise frustrate or embarrass you. Odds are no one saw you slip on the stairs anyway. They are much too busy worrying whether anyone saw them slip. And if all else fails, feel free to laugh at me. I embarrass myself constantly, and it’s healthy to have people laugh to me (or hopefully with me) every now and then. No one should take themselves too seriously. Have a good week, everyone.
—Leigh Dickey is a junior in global studies. She can be reached at [email protected].
