I firmly despise the Student Government Association and all the self-important twits who waste their time and money and waste my time by asking me to vote for them, as if participation in a student government association is relevant to anything, anywhere, at any time.
It is ridiculous. If only I could witness the grueling intellectual battles that occur during their meetings and their debates over such stirring issues such as noise regulation in Presidential Courtyard. We can rest easier, sound asleep with the knowledge that there are signs advising people not to perform harmless activities during certain hours. God bless you, SGA. May the light of your valor illuminate the trenches of cowards the whole world over.
The SGA and those who run for it care about themselves first, themselves second and themselves forever on. Sort of like our own politicians.
The whole election process is a set of bad auditions. It’s a series of performances where the audience votes on the best one, and they base these votes on how well they know who’s running. No matter who wins, nothing changes.
Sort of like our own political process. The big audition.
The circus rolls into town every four years. And with a woman, a black guy and a Mormon among this year’s crop, what a show this will be!
The festivities kicked off the right way with the YouTube Democratic Debate in late July. Audience participation! Among the questions, one involved the matter of whether or not Barack Obama is black enough to be president.
What? How is someone “black enough” to be president? Since we’ve never had a black president before, is it even possible to know? And besides, what exactly is “blackness”? Black people constitute a diverse range of thoughts and personalities. How would you begin defining “blackness”? Stereotypes? Which ones? Wouldn’t that be a bit racist?
I just have to question. My apologies to the media.
And did anyone notice how Obama dodged Mike Gravel’s question about his campaign financing? Or that Gravel hardly got any time while the big names (i.e., those who the media covers the most) got the most attention? Although Gravel is about as appealing as a 40-year old virgin who smothers children with pillows, you should give him equal time.
It gives people the illusion that the election process is balanced, if nothing else.
I know next-to-nothing about John Edwards, save that I will not be voting for him because he’s a Democrat which means he gets the label of LIBERAL, which in turn means that he’s a book-reading, baby-killing secularist. No, thank you.
I think I’ll just vote for Hillary because she’s a woman. If you don’t, you are clearly afraid of women being in power. Her stance on the issues? What issues? She’s a woman! That’s good enough for me.
However, I know I will not be voting for Mitt Romney. Repeat after me: Mormons are evil. How would a Mormon run the White House? Have you seen their beliefs? The words “weird,” “stupid” and “primitive” wrap it up nicely. Me, I prefer someone in the White House who believes Armageddon as described in the Book of Revelation is imminent.
Someone who gleefully embraces the end-of-the-world is someone whose finger I want on the button. Godspeed!
Rudy Giuliani, or America’s Savior, which should be his preferred name, has a good shot at winning. Some criticize him as exploiting the Sept. 11 attacks for not only his own political gain but his financial gain as well, alleged to have made $11.4 million from speaking fees in one year alone. Regardless, he will make a great president because he’s a hero. And how is he a hero? He happened to be mayor of New York City during Sept. 11. Must I paint a clearer picture? I cannot. Sorry.
Fred Thompson is an actor. By coincidence, he’s from my home state. Wow. I think I’ve found my candidate. Hopefully he’ll follow precedent and justify our personal bigotry by dressing it up as supporting “traditional ways.”
The adjective “traditional” powers primitive bigots. Traditional marriage, traditional values, a traditional way of life, etc., are all attempts by regressive people to keep their drowning beliefs afloat and fool you into thinking that simply because something is “traditional,” it is an integral part of our country.
Slavery was once considered traditional. It was once traditional for only white men to be able to vote. In certain cultures, human sacrifice constituted a nice, deep tradition. Does anyone want human sacrifice?
I do. An occasional bloodletting keeps the gods happy. As long as the cloud-god Rinrahaha gifts us with a bountiful harvest, bring on the slaughters.
To get my vote, a candidate must advocate human sacrifice.
Anything less, and they’re too weak to lead.
— Travis Lee is a senior in French. He can be reached at [email protected].
