Every child is special. Why? Because the parents never were.
To the average parent, their child is something far beyond the result of sexual intercourse. They are unique, precious miracles. Prodigies who excel in every activity. To suggest otherwise is the equivalent of painting yourself as a purveyor of negativity whose sole purpose in life is to diminish the accomplishments of others.
I feel sorry for anyone who teaches or coaches children. Not only are they shouldered with the responsibility of watching dozens of unruly young people, they also must contend with parents who cannot begin to fathom why their precious little miracle did not win first chair. How could Michael Jordan Jr. not start the basketball team? They are my children. Therefore, they must be perfect.
This mentality leads to repercussions for the adults involved. A disgruntled father takes a swing at the little league coach who chose not to play his little all-star. Angry band parents organize the ousting of the band director. A mother calls “foul” when her daughter is not selected to receive a scholarship.
No one is a loser. Many little league games no longer keep score because teaching children what it’s like to win and lose hurts too many feelings.
And when they do keep score, everyone remains a winner. The other team did in fact score more points and play a better game, but by the mere act of showing up, the losing team wins too. We have runner-up trophies for the loser in championships so they can have something to be proud of, rather than correcting their mistakes and encouraging them to better themselves.
In Connecticut high school football, a coach whose team wins by more than 50 points is suspended the next game. What kind of message is this sending to the players? Don’t do your best — we don’t want the other team to cry.
The whole purpose behind athletic competition is to determine who the best is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with running up the score on an inferior team. If the opposing team cannot stop my players, how is that my fault? The only ones calling running up the score a lack of sportsmanship are the ones who lose. Get better or quit whining.
It was called bad sportsmanship and a bad example to the kids when the New London High School football team regularly walloped weaker opponents (upwards of 90 – 0 in some cases), but when Ellis Tech coach, Tim Pantelaekos, was ejected for slugging a security officer because his team was down at the half and New London’s coach had just called a timeout, that’s justified? Gloat when you win, you’re a poor sport. Whine when you lose, you become a victim.
“It’s about teaching kids right from wrong,” defends Leroy Williams, chairman of the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference’s football committee. When did a game involving boys hitting each other become an ethics class? As a former coach, Williams says that he “remembers well” the extreme losses his team suffered.
As a coach, isn’t it your responsibility to push your players to do their best? It sounds like a failing with you, not the other team. Plus, his clear inability to get over what happened has pushed him to institute such an unnecessary rule. Oh, the trauma of losing a contest that is (supposed to be) secondary to academics. Thank God you’re in a position to stop others from feeling your pain. Godspeed!
Williams also says, “Try to explain that to the kids” when remembering a time he was down 54 points and the other team called an onside kick after scoring. Okay, I’ll try. You can explain to them that the other team played better, and ask them to examine their play, search for faults and then search for ways to correct these faults so that next time the loss will not be so bad.
Or, take the alternate route and tell them that there is nothing wrong with them, that they are truly winners for showing up, a notion reinforced by the overzealous parents to whom the coach has to answer.
Kids learn that everyone is a winner only to arrive in the real world and suffer shock at discovering the opposite.
But hey, if it stops one soft loser from crying, I guess it’s worth it, right?
