When we began to work on this special issue centered around love, relationships and sex, I initially thought that I did not have anything to say about it. As any good journalist should be, I was a little too occupied with what other people thought, and a little too disinterested in my own thoughts. While this may have worked against my bias, it also worked against my growth as a human. I think it’s important to remember that we, as student journalists, are people, too.
If nothing else, my 1.5 years at college so far have taught me that relationships are tricky, tricky, tricky. It does not matter whether it is a boyfriend, roommate or sibling back home — a relationship can be one of the most fragile and yet unbreakable things we experience.
Fragility is around every corner — it’s knowing that at any moment, a person you love could turn their back on you and care nothing about your life anymore. It’s feeling required to offer up vulnerability that you may not feel comfortable giving just yet. It’s carrying the weight of the past — maybe you were abused, leaving you emotionally and perhaps physically scarred.
But there can also be incredible stability in a relationship — watching their daily actions, listening to their words and feeling the warmth of their hugs.
Whatever your circumstances, relationships need two things — respect and trust.
What is respect? Well, Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines respect in this context as “high or special regard.” I don’t like that definition very much, so I made my own.
Respect — to hold something or someone in such a regard that you are willing to consider its needs, feelings or wants above your own.
This definition is good because it does not require you to bow down to someone else’s wishes at the drop of a hat, which many expect in their relationships. Instead, you might simply be willing, but it is not required. When you think of someone you genuinely respect, would you not be willing to consider their opinion on something and esteem it above your own?
Let’s also look at trust — I actually liked Merriam-Webster’s definition for this one, and I’ll leave it here.
Trust — assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.
I think I might only have to add that in relationships, you need assured reliance on someone’s heart as well.
But the rest of the definition is excellent. How much you rely on the truth of another person’s statement will indicate mutual trust within the relationship. Judging someone’s character and then being able to give wholehearted reliance upon that character throughout the relationship will completely change the way you view the world. I can speak from experience on this. Once you have encountered someone who does what they say they are going to do and is actively trying to become a better version of themselves, you can never go back to anything less.
One more note before I go — I have said that respect and trust are the two most important things in a relationship. I feel the need to clarify that these elements must go both ways if you want the relationship to succeed. If you have the emotional maturity to respect the person you are dating, you will, in turn, be able to recognize instances when they do not hold you in that same regard. Your trust in them as a partner, lover, friend or confidante will undoubtedly be broken once you realize they do not trust you.
A relationship of any kind is a two-way street.
I know this is a long letter, and for someone who initially thought that they did not have anything to share on the topic of relationships, I think I have thoroughly outworn my welcome.
Please enjoy this issue. The entire newsroom worked so hard on it, and it was all for you, Vols.
We had you in mind every step of the way — from tabling on Ped Walkway and asking you what your questions were so that “sexpert” Renee Hamlin could answer them, to taking a deeper dive into an organization that works to eradicate any form of sexual assault, and literally every article in between, we want this issue to be about you and for you.
If there is anything I or any other member of the Beacon can do for you during the semester, please let us know. Our office is open, and our inboxes are waiting.
