For me, it seems as though the past couple of months have been nothing but disappointment after disappointment.
I had a summer job that I was looking forward to, and it fell through. I had an internship I was beyond excited for, and again, it fell through. I was also a part of a multi-month long project, which also eventually did not go as I had planned or hoped for. To top it off, I had multiple single-day events planned too, most of which have cancelled on me.
In all honesty, it’s taken a toll on me, and I have taken everything to heart. This is dangerous because I know that none of it speaks directly to who I am as a person, student or rising young professional.
However, amidst the disappointment, I’ve discovered that this time, the rejection has been different. For the first time, I’m happy with the only thing that ultimately remains — me. Usually, when I’ve been rejected or denied an opportunity, I always question my worth. Why was I not sufficient enough? Did I do everything correctly? Should I change something about my character or personality? The rabbit hole only went deeper from there.
This time, I remained secure, because I know my worth. I know that I offer perspectives and love that no one else can bring. I know that just because the expectations or anticipations of the circumstances around me change, I can stand firm in who I am and be unmoved by outward circumstances.
Success does not come from the outside in, but rather the inside out.
I know that I should approach all of these things again, as well as any future endeavors in the same way — by simply showing up as me. Not as a modified version of me, a partial version of me or even as a temporarily new and improved version of me — just me.
I must show up as whole and complete. Do you know what you have to offer? Don’t back down on that assurance. Don’t forfeit the passions in your soul because of the thoughts in your head.
The anxiety is lying to you.
That fear, stress and depression — whether it be originating from rejection, fear of rejection or otherwise — is all false prophecy. No thought in your head can alter the behavior of others or of systems around you, so stop thinking it does. Let go of that unnecessary pressure you’ve put on yourself. Find your worth, hold onto it and never let it go. Understand that your dreams and passions should never change because the world isn’t privy to it.
Rethink your approach. It’s not rejection because your idea or representation of self is bad. It’s simply because the world is not ready for it. Rejection is simply redirection. It’s not a keeping from, it’s a pushing toward. If it’s not for you, then so be it. Put your time, energy and focus on the areas of your life that do see you for you. It’s such a simple concept, but it is much easier said than done. Speaking from experience, it’s a powerful revelation once it’s put to practice.
Don’t be discouraged if something doesn’t work out for you. Be encouraged that you have another chance to explore other opportunities and have time to refine yourself and ensure that you are exactly where you want to be — if not further than you could have ever imagined.
Don’t let a setback set you back.
Don’t let a discouragement dampen the fire that burns within you. Stay encouraged. Stand firm in your values and just be you. Don’t change because circumstances change. Be so empowered and so comfortable with yourself that you continuously show up as yourself.
The right people will love you for who you are — not for who they want you to be.
Jeremiah Vecchioni is a freshman at UT this year studying secondary social studies education. He can be reached at [email protected].
Columns and letters of The Daily Beacon are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or the Beacon’s editorial staff.
Columnist Jeremiah Vecchioni says, “Usually, when I’ve been rejected or denied an opportunity, I always question my worth… This time, I remained secure, because I know my worth.”
