Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a disorder that many people deal with 365 days a year, but October is the one month that signifies awareness. As someone who was diagnosed with ADHD almost eight years ago, I feel like there are a lot of unspoken misconceptions and unknown truths about having this disorder.
People often can associate this disorder with merely having trouble focusing or being a little bit too hyper, but I would like to set the record straight — that there is much more depth to having ADHD than people think.
I first was diagnosed with ADHD when I was around 13, yet I didn’t understand the full extent to this, as I too thought that it was just a fancy way of saying I had a short attention span — although that was no secret when my diagnosis was confirmed. In school, teachers made small suggestions that I needed to get back to work, or not talk so loud, or just in general calm down.
It’s like my mind was doing backflips and I had so much to say, yet the words could never come out right. After one too many warnings in school, this information was of course relayed to my parents, and so the journey began.
When we received the papers of my test results, there it was: On the 1.0 point maximum scale, in a bold red bar, read the corresponding numbers: 0.99999. I was not familiar with this scale used for the tests I was given, but in simpler terms, it was off the charts.
If you are someone with ADHD, you know how the whole process of trial and error goes with our medication. You are given dozens of different types to experiment with, and if it doesn’t work or affects your body badly, you just have to learn the hard way.
After finally finding one that worked for me, my new routine was to wake up and take this medicine, because I knew if I didn’t, I would not get anything done and I would fall back into my old ways. At first, it was frustrating to know that I needed medication to be productive in any way, but I knew that this was best for me. This caused a lot of anger and frustration within me. Not being able to understand something that seems like easy work to your peers is really annoying — just so you know.
I felt dumb, and as though I was not capable of doing or saying anything intelligent unless I was medicated. This is a universal feeling a lot of people with chronic ADHD have, as you wish that your brain would just work normally.
Flash forward eight years, my brain has developed and matured more, which has made me realize a few things about myself and how I identify with ADHD.
I realized that this disorder not only affects my daily life, but social relationships, overall mood and well-being. In terms of my daily life, I find myself having no trouble completing tasks, but at what cost? My medication makes me feel like I am on top of the world for a few hours, but as the end of the day approaches, I feel like a zombie coming back from the dead.
Additionally, ADHD can sometimes make people sabotage their relationships in their social or love life, with no intent to. Jumping quickly at opportunities and having fast detachment is something that is all too familiar with someone who has ADHD.
Even having the same comfort food for months and then one day randomly despising it, is something that just becomes a norm. While the list goes on and on for what symptoms or norms you experience with ADHD, just know you are not alone, and you are doing great. The next time you think your ADHD friend is being a little bit too loud or maybe even too quiet, keep in mind they are doing their best.
Ansley Graves is a junior at UT this year studying journalism. She can be reached at [email protected].
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