Between me and you, being single is underrated, especially in college. Somewhere between syllabus week and graduation countdowns, we were sold the idea that college is only complete if it comes with a relationship attached — preferably photogenic, long-term and with a marriage proposal impending. But the truth? College is already a lot to juggle. Between classes, assignments, clubs, jobs and the small day-to-day responsibilities, it’s hard to keep up with yourself, let alone another person. Being single in college gives you something no relationship ever could: uninterrupted access to yourself. Your time, your priorities, your growth — completely your own.

In a 2016 presentation to the American Psychological Association, Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, shared data proving that people who were single present stronger feelings of self-determination and are more likely to display psychological growth and development than their married counterparts.

In all my years and stages of life, I’ve never been in a relationship, and it’s so freeing. I’ve listened to all my friends over the years tell me about the drama, heartache and constant frustrations that come with their relationship, and I don’t feel like I’m missing out. There’s something incredibly liberating about moving on your own time in the life you’re building without having to negotiate your peace.

I also recognize that for some people, their relationship is their peace — and that’s a genuinely beautiful thing. Love can be grounding, supportive and life-changing when it’s healthy.

What’s concerning is the pressure our society places on us — at every age, in every stage — to be in a relationship as proof of worth or success. That expectation is both alarming and constricting. It leaves little room for individuality, timing or choice, and it turns something meant to be organic into something that feels mandatory. We should be allowed to want love, or not want it yet, without feeling like we’re falling behind.

We need to bring back the joy of being single. If you’re single and feel the weight of society breathing down your neck, insisting you shouldn’t be single, turn the volume all the way up and blast “Ridin’ Solo,” by Jason Derulo, and “Good As Hell,” by Lizzo. Being on your own is a celebration!

Being single has taught me that in all aspects of life, I’ll always have myself. To me, self-love is the most important form of love — it’s the foundation everything else is built on. We can’t pour love into others as effectively if we haven’t first learned how to show up for ourselves.

My parents will always be one of my truest forms of love. Alongside myself, they are the constant I know I will always have — a steady, unconditional presence that grounds me no matter where life takes me. I recognize that love is the blessing it is.

I’ve also realized that the love found in friendships — the kind rooted in choice, laughter and shared growth — is incredibly powerful. In many ways, it’s one of the purest forms of love we experience, and it deserves just as much reverence as romantic love.

Often in relationships, people can begin to lose parts of their identity, becoming known primarily as their counterpart’s significant other. While there is something undeniably sweet about being intertwined with another person, it’s especially important in college when one is building their identity, but truly at any stage of life, to maintain a sense of self.

In relationships, people often give their whole selves to one person — sacrificing their hobbies, sidelining their friendships and neglecting the parts of life that make them an individual. When the relationship ends, they sometimes discover that friends got tired of waiting on them and drifted away long ago, leaving them feeling completely alone.

We deserve to be known not just by who we love, but by who we are — our passions, values, ambitions and the ways we show up in the world. Maintaining our own identity and connections outside a romantic partnership enriches our lives and supports our well-being.

“People say a lot of times, when they’re in relationships, that they’ve lost themselves. And that’s largely because we stop doing things independently,” Dr. Niloo Dardashti, a workplace psychologist and relationship expert, said.

Whatever your relationship status is, it should never be used as a measure of your worth. Being in a relationship does not make someone better than another, just as being single does not make someone lonely or behind. We all move through life at different paces, with different priorities and desires. Whether you are single, boo’d up, married or somewhere in between, you are still becoming — and that, on its own, is enough.

Your thoughts are my favorite read. Email me at [email protected]!

Marissa Hunt is a junior at UT this year studying journalism. She can be reached at [email protected]

Columns and letters of The Daily Beacon are the views of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Beacon or the Beacon’s editorial staff.