What goes in probably comes out. So, why do we fill our ears with what we would not want to say? Cursing is in our music, in our movies, in our plays and especially in our comedies. It is on TV and in video games. It is written into our novels.

I am no stranger to cursing, and I have used just about every curse word, with an exception to those I find too religiously offensive. I will not make a list, but you know what I am talking about. I have my favorites, and they still come out every now and then, but on the whole, I try to avoid cursing.

My mother, who works at an elementary school, recently dealt with a child who was taken to the principal’s office for disciplinary action. The child was a kindergartner, and the kids were slowly being phased in to get used to having school every day. This particular child had other plans. When told that he would have to come to school five days a week from now on, he cursed nonchalantly and asked who signed him up for such an arrangement. Granted that the laughter following got the kid out of punishment, cursing is the number one offense at the school, even among kindergartners, according to my mother.

I worked with an inner city school in Knoxville. I was shocked by the sexual innuendo and other vile subjects kids talked about. They knew about cursing and had enough of an array of slang to be suggestive and vulgar. I mostly blame music videos because of what I have heard in those specific circumstances, but behind and around that are parents.

It is appalling to hear cursing from kids. But the next question that comes to me is: why should it not be appalling for adults as well? — not the words themselves, but the foulness. Do we approve of saying degrading, hurtful things to other people? And it is not just about curse words. I can say plenty of foul, hurtful and even dehumanizing things without a single four-letter word. Why should that not be appalling? The fact that we treat other people this way is a sign of our own pride, self-centeredness and desire to control.

I have had many movies ruined for me just because every line is full of cursing. Filmmakers: people do not talk like cursing. Even in high-pressure or intense situations, certain words do not have to be used five times. And the result is inevitable: we hear it used in context (anger or frustration for example) and then when we are in that context, we think them out. Then we start to act them out.

If cursing is all around you, it is a safe bet that you will start to blend in and imitate what you hear — like a baby. If you expose yourself habitually to people treating each other badly, being so self-willed as to extend only put-downs instead of forgiveness and understanding, what do you suppose you will be likely to do?

I met a British man while traveling who cursed like a character from “The Boondock Saints,” and he liked to joke that one day we would basically communicate in different tones of one particular curse word.

There are some movies that are not far from realizing this vision, and I say that to the shame of Hollywood.

A larger issue is found here: maturity. We say children should not be exposed to it, yet we expose ourselves to it. How hypocritical is that? If in our care we should shelter them from something we think will be bad for them, how much more should we stay pure from it ourselves?

We let our kids watch shows where they are exposed to people sharing, helping each other, loving each other and being self-sacrificing. This is done in hope that children will learn these virtues. And when grown, we think it proper to flood ourselves with cursing, hurtful speech, prideful characters, violence and the glorification of a host of things we hope no one ever does to us.

Are we really better than children? I think not. What we put in our system is what we think, what we think is what we are, and often, what we do.

So watch a good kids movie every now and then; hope with me that someday there will be a decent drama produced by Hollywood that will be made without cursing. Was the Lord of the Rings Trilogy not a good example?

And when you curse at someone, you are really only showing others that you cannot control your temper. Genuine anger can be handled thoughtfully and effectively without disrespect and without childishness, and by that, I mean cursing.