Big orange football games are the center of activity and fun in the fall. The university makes every effort to create a day-long adventure for all those who trek out to Neyland to see the Vols play. This includes pregame tailgates, shows and carnivals as well as post-game celebration parties.
But the university has decided to take these events to new, extreme heights.
As of this fall, the university has proposed a variety of ideas to enhance the UT football experience for every fan that come under the proposed title of “The Big (Orange) Day!”
There are numerous issues with this plan. First, the university is acting as if UT football needs some sort of attraction to bring in more fans. The argument is that trying to bring more fans to campus earlier generates revenue for the university and surrounding businesses.
But this isn’t sound policy, since the Directory of Football Statistics notes that an average of over 93,000 fans show up at least two hours before kickoff, and 79 percent of those fans are too intoxicated to really appreciate their surroundings. The simple hype of Tennessee football is enough to bring in the early crowds, so there is no need to spend university funds on even more activities.
Also, the ideas proposed are somewhat unusual. These ideas range from paying A-list celebrities to walk in the pregame parade to pushing around a shark tank on wheels. The shark tank would feature bull sharks donated by the Ripley’s Believe it or Not Aquarium in Gatlinburg.
While this might be pretty enticing, the university must align its priorities regarding its spending. It seems that the money being spent on a rolling shark tank (to be placed atop a larger and longer version of Radio Flyer little red wagons) is foolish in comparison to a building renovation or a pay raise for employees.
The Board of Trustees is also considering spending that money on an offensive-themed roller coaster called “The Claw(son)” that would be set up and taken down in front of Ayres every Saturday, a “Big Orange Popper” (an enormous orange chili pepper that plays the club remix of Rocky Top on repeat), and seven moonwalks to be located throughout campus. The athletics department has even expressed interest in rolling the shark tank out through the “T” before football games.
The university has developed new plans for halftime entertainment for the Big (Orange) Day. These include setting the shark tank at midfield and an animated six-episode feature about Bruce Pearl and his shirtless experiences. Officials have contacted Disney about creating the feature to be shown on the JumboTron.
The university has even prepared, but not released, a mission statement regarding the Big (Orange) Day events. The Beacon obtained the statement through an anonymous College of Agriculture representative who wasn’t happy with the university’s request that his department mow the lawn on the Hill every Friday night in preparation for the roller coaster.
The mission statement reads, “The University of Tennessee and its athletics department wish to provide an enhanced game day experience to our faithful fans by exposing them to a variety of intriguing attractions they may not experience on our campus otherwise.”
This statement fails to acknowledge the facts at hand. The statistics above demonstrate that many of UT’s fans are fairly incoherent on game days anyway, let alone coherent enough to enjoy and remember this entertainment. Actually, a Big Orange Popper would probably make an intoxicated fan’s day a whole lot worse.
In fact, the university’s budget would take a hit from this Big (Orange) Day project. The expected cost per Saturday is currently at $8.3 million, and the university has proposed two ideas to cover this cost: selling the Neyland Stadium name to Food Lion (making it Food Lion Stadium, also known as “the Den”) and another tuition increase to cover the brunt of this cost.
How dare the university rob this campus of its heritage or take advantage of its students for such an asinine idea such as the Big (Orange) Day? Tuition increases should be, if anything, for improvement of the university as a whole. This is nothing but a big orange idiot fest in the making, and the university administration should strongly reconsider this plan and many of its suggestions.
Game days on this campus are special enough. There is no dire need for outlandish entertainment similar to a twisted circus. Saturdays are full of fun and adventure as it is, and to sell that out for some ridiculous chili pepper is a disgrace. Hopefully, faculty, staff, the SGA and students can unite on this front against the Big (Orange) Day and advocate the proper management of university funds.
And if this whole thing were actually real, I’d be the first to protest.
— Oliver Casey is a sophomore in enterprise management and cares about how budgetary decisions are made. He wouldn’t be too surprised to hear that the university will allot dollars for a project that doesn’t merit the funding, but he’s glad that Big (Orange) Day is only an April Fools’ idea. He can be reached at [email protected].
