I love people, and generally 90 percent of the time I’m able to have normal interactions with them. But that other 10 percent of the time, things are awkward and weird because I use a wheelchair, and it’s enough to just make me want to scream! I don’t blame them—people are taught that disability is a really sensitive, grave subject when it doesn’t have to be. People’s treatment of me comes mostly from a place of goodwill, but also from fear and ignorance. So for the sake of education, here is a list of don’ts for the next time you see me:
1. Don’t panic when you see me on an elevator. Many times the elevator doors open, people see me inside, and this look of surprise and fear comes across their faces. “Should I get on? Should I let her take it alone?” Just get on the elevator, jeez. I don’t need acres of room. I won’t bite, most likely.
2. If I’m just sitting somewhere like a normal person, don’t come up and ask me if I need help. I’m probably just texting.
3. Don’t lean on my scooter or chair, unless I know you well. It’s the same sort of situation as some stranger coming up behind you and putting their arms around your neck. It’s not a pleasant thing.
4. There are some jokes that just aren’t funny. “Hey, when can I ride that? Ha ha ha.” The answer is never, because it’s not a toy. “Man, I need one of those!” No, you don’t. “Ouch, you ran over my foot! Ha ha ha.” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that one, I’d have quite a few dollars.
5. Don’t stare. I’m not that interesting.
6. Don’t ask me, “what’s wrong with you?” the instant you meet me. Ask me about the weather, news, sports, clothes, fun cat videos, obscure indie bands, 19th century Russian literature—please, anything but “what’s wrong” with me. It shows that you don’t see much else in me other than a disease.
7. Don’t talk to the people I’m with and ignore me. Many conversations I’m “a part of” involve someone talking to the person I’m with and pretending I’m not there. This is especially offensive when people ask the people I’m with what I need and what I can do. I’m the authority on myself as an autonomous human being. Nothing is as insulting as having my humanity rejected when someone asks my friend if I can walk instead of asking me.
8. If you do ask me if I can walk, don’t reply with, “You can’t walk AT ALL?” Oh wait, you’re right, I forgot, I can walk! How silly of me.
9. When we’re both getting on or off the elevator or going through a door, and I tell you to go ahead first, please just go. Please. Don’t insist I go first. You’re probably in my way, and I don’t want to hit you.
10. Finally, if you see me coming up behind you on the sidewalk, don’t make all this room and/or stop walking to let me go past. I don’t know why people do this, really. Maybe they’re scared I’ll hit them or assume I’m trying to get by them or they’re trying to be nice by letting the poor disabled girl go past. But all you’re doing is making a big deal out of my difference. It doesn’t do me any favors, it doesn’t make me feel any better, and it doesn’t make you any better of a person.
If you encounter me, just chill, and I promise everything will be okay.
— Lindsay Lee is a junior in mathematics. She can be reached at [email protected].
