A note on modesty: Detracting from the stereotypical refrain on knee-length skirts and rounded collars, I will not attempt to tell you specifically what clothing items I, in my personal opinion, deem inappropriate. This is mainly because I don’t claim to hold a universal set of modesty rules, as people and situations are always different. Also, if I attempted to tell you your favorite tube top was just a smidge too revealing for your body type, you probably wouldn’t listen to me anyway. So instead, my aim here is to perhaps change the way you think about the clothes you wear.
Aside from the days when you wake up to go to class and genuinely don’t care, most girls when dressing attempt to select clothing items that flatter. While some sights seen on our campus (or the Strip on the weekend, more to the point) may seriously make you question this truth, no girl dresses to make herself look bad. The problem occurs when in this quest to dress attractively (let’s confess, often for the opposite sex), girls often fail in ways that are readily apparent to any observer.
Why do they fail? If girls are attempting to flatter themselves and their figures with clothing choices, why do they seem to make bad decisions so often? I argue that the root of this problem lies on two ends of the caring continuum. There are those who genuinely don’t care at all. On that end, you have the members of the population who haven’t updated their wardrobes since middle school, and this lack of attention has left them with clothes a touch too snug. For these few, I say that clothing represents you to the world, and it would be wise to take a few moments to contemplate the message you’re sending. On the opposite end of the continuum, we have the girls who are genuinely trying to dress attractively and seem to be trying too hard. These are the girls I am speaking to.
If you feel the need to dress in a way that exposes the majority of your body to the world in an attempt to get attention, the good news is you will. The question is, when you get the type of attention that comes with revealing dressing, is it the kind of attention you will enjoy? I promise, if you wear that extremely low cut blouse, boys will look. They may even ask you out. If you are in any way engaging (and sometimes even if you’re not) they will be more than happy to “benefit” from your friendship.
However, relationships based on a boy finding your cleavage more visible and available than the next girl’s will not last. Even if he is taking you out because he rates your cleavage as higher quality than the average girl population, your relationship will not last. There is always another girl willing to show more, do more and perhaps who was simply born with more to show. Boys line up to date girls who show just a bit too much, but they don’t marry them. That’s the hypocrisy of it all.
A few years down the road, when men start to consider marriage, the girls that have served them oh so well for oh so long will find themselves abandoned. The only rational justification for immodest dressing is that you genuinely want to date a guy who only values you for your body. Those are the only type that are attracted by immodesty.
So, when approaching dressing, my suggestion is to ask yourself a question. What is my motivation in wearing this piece of clothing? If you like it, it’s cute and it fits attractively, then by all means continue. Dressing up to impress boys with your beauty is arguably one of your fundamental rights as a girl. However, when your motivation turns to baiting boys with your body, you need to examine your goal. If it’s “to be used,” I promise you’ll achieve it. If you’re in doubt about what crosses that intangible line that is so difficult to discern, may I suggest you ask your best friend or (with the risk of ensuing groans) your mom.
Girls, what you have been blessed with is valuable. Don’t show it to just any boy that walks by. Make them earn it.
