With the advent of the New Year and a fresh spring semester, all pop culture junkies cry in adulation, “The awards season is upon us!”

Well, not exactly. It’s mostly a disgusted trepidation, knowing the films we have loved over the past year which have been deemed worthy by the powers that be “award-worthy” must now duke it out for the year’s superlative lists. What follows, not unlike the holiday season, is a parade of hurt feelings, jealousy over the gifts everyone else got, and a a revenue spike for tissue companies.

While the Oscar’s tend to hog the prestige, the Golden Globes stand as a greater barometer for international taste in films, thus to some should be held in an even higher regard. Divided though these camps may be, one thing is obvious in recent years: The Golden Globes are a much more Bacchanalian affair, made for drunken speeches and in the case of last year’s show, heckling from host Ricky Gervais which puts any comment from the Friar’s Club stage to shame (maybe barring that comment about Patrice O’Neal at the Charlie Sheen roast, but who knew he’d die?). As opposed to the honors given by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, one backwoods Tennessee commentator will now tell you who will win the Golden Globes.

Best Motion Picture

2011 was, if nothing else, a banner year for diverse contenders. What makes the Golden Globes so contentious is, unlike the Oscar’s, the categories for performance and production are split between drama and comedy/musical. In effect this creates more slots for nominees and gives more productions some clout. It also muddies the field and creates more competition for deserving films.

In the drama category, the obvious front-runner is Alexander Payne’s “The Descendants,” whose star George Clooney leads the field in the dramatic actor category, as well. Clooney’s own production, “The Ides of March,” also vies for the top film prize, but the only marked competition stands in “The Help.” Featuring a packed bill of charged performances, the tale of African-American women working in homes during the Civil Rights Era garnered universal critical acclaim on release.

Will win: “The Descendants”

Should win: “The Help”

In the comedy/musical category, late entry “The Artist” presents a major contender which, for the first time in many years, is actually a silent film. While so many directors have made their name on dialogue (Scorsese? Tarantino, anyone?), in this day and age to relegate such a vital component of film style to title cards is daring. While more contemporary, youth-friendly nominees such as “Bridesmaids” and “50/50” earn their spots on the list, Woody Allen’s long-awaited return to form “Midnight in Paris” could stage an upset.

Will win: “The Artist”

Should win: “The Artist”

Wild card: “My Week with Marilyn”

Best Actor

If film nominations are any indicator, George Clooney should take the dramatic actor nomination without a doubt. However, more daring portrayals from Leonardo DiCaprio and Michael Fassbender in “J. Edgar” and “Shame,” respectively, could split voters. Nothing against Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling, but this is not a year for once and future pretty boys in vanilla roles.

Will win: George Clooney

Should win: Michael Fassbender

On the other hand, Gosling’s performance in “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” as a penitent womanizer would actually make him somewhat a parallel to Fassbender, and perhaps a solid contender for the comedic actor award. Jean Dujardin, however, trumps the smooth-talking bar rat in a silent performance both tragic and electrifying. In a field of champions, Dujardin is the man to beat.

Will win: Jean Dujardin

Should win: Jean Dujardin

Best Actress

Two words: Lisbeth Salander. Rooney Mara’s transformative take on Stieg Larsson’s damaged cyberdetective would be the edgy choice. The safer, surer choice for dramatic actress is Viola Davis in “The Help.” Their peers, perennial favorites Meryl Streep, Glenn Close and Tilda Swinton all performed admirably, yet their roles lack the edge, both aesthetic and dramatic, with which Mara and Davis imbue their performances.

Will win: Viola Davis

Should win: toss-up, Davis or Mara

As with their dramatic counterparts, this year’s comedic actress nominees each stand their own and with the exception of Kristen Wiig, are past nominees or winners for Golden Globes and Academy Awards. Jodie Foster and Kate Winslet counter and mirror each other to side-splitting effect in “Carnage,” and Wiig’s maid of honor Annie leads a pack of some of the most hilarious ladies in pink ever put to celluloid. Williams, however, always the nominee and rarely the winner, will and should take the statuette for her embodiment of Marilyn Monroe.

Will win: Michelle Williams

Should win: Michelle Williams

Best Director

This year has marked comebacks (Woody Allen), daring steps out on a limb (Scorsese) and a pair of Clooney-centric productions, but the award is Michel Hazanavicius’ to lose. While the comedic aspect of “The Artist” may put it at a disadvantage with the American Academy, the French production stands alone not for pushing the envelope of production values, but by stepping back to film’s early days. Hazanavicius’ handling of Jean Dujardin and wife Berenice Bejo consistently impresses, but never has the team of actors and director so astounded viewers.

Will win: toss-up, Payne or Hazanavicius

Should win: Hazanavicius

These are only a few categories, and I leave you to determine your own outcomes. More entertaining, though, might be who Ricky Gervais might pick on this year. Judging from his early recognition of Charlie Sheen’s implosion last year, Gervais’ rants might dictate the memes and trends of the year. Again, not so much adulation as trepidation opens this season. You were warned.

— Jake Lane is a graduate in creative writing. He can be reached at [email protected].