Opinion: Guest Columns

Letter from the Real Editor

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Back in August, when I first began my reign as queen of this fine newspaper, The Daily Beacon, our esteemed managing editor (and my lady-in-waiting) pitched the idea to join forces with The Tangerine for a special issue.

To which we answered, “who?”

When she enlightened us to the existence ...

Letter from the Editor

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Dear reader,

Didn’t expect to find me here, did you? Trust me, I’m just as shocked as you are; I never thought my good friends from The Daily Beacon would ask me to write a letter from the editor for their very special, very funny April Fools’ Day ...

Kelsey Keny to extend SGA reign indefinitely

Wed Apr 01, 2015

For the first time in University of Tennessee history, a Student Government Association president will continue her reign after graduation. 

Kelsey Keny, elected in 2014, has decided that due to the lack of suitable candidates in this year's election (and an incurable thirst for power), she will continue her ...

Thousands injured in first eno accident of semester

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Spring has officially sprung at the University of Tennessee, heralded in by the pitter-patter of Chacos, warm weather followed by cold weather followed by warm weather and, of course, Enos: the hammock craze sweeping campus quads across the nation.

However, these hipster cocoons aren’t all fun and relaxation. Several ...

The “Green Revolution” is run by the Reds

Wed Apr 01, 2015

How’d it feel when you walked outside this morning? I don’t know about you, but it seems a little chillier than it should be this time of year. And it’s not just today; this February went down as one of the top 5 coldest months in recorded ...

2015 SGA Debate contains actual mudslinging

Wed Apr 01, 2015

On Monday night, students and oratory enthusiasts alike flocked to McClung Museum to watch this year’s Student Government Association candidates duke it out using the spoken word.

While many expected the inherent cattiness and unprofessional trip artisanship generally associated with election debates , this year's attendees got more entertainment ...

Sex Week's groovy origins: EXPOSED

Wed Apr 01, 2015

The 1997 cult classic “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” entertained audiences with the raucous story of a spy cryogenically frozen in 1967 for the purpose of defeating his arch nemesis Dr. Evil in the future, when free love is no longer the norm and greed and corruption run rampant ...

Campus is beautiful in every single way

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Dear The Daily Beacon,

I am writing to you in rage. Why am I so angry? For many reasons, actually:

  1. Because I’m a naturally hot-headed person.
  2. Because I refuse to compromise on my opinions.
  3. Because I am graduating in May and everyone keeps asking me what I’m doing ...

Starbucks backpedals after #RaceTogether fiasco

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Earlier this month, Starbucks began writing #RaceTogether on cups of overpriced coffee-flavored sugar in attempt to start up conversations about race.

Public outrage ensued, resulting in the campaign's termination shortly thereafter.

Many patrons took the employees' attempts to discuss black culture as an incorrect order confirmation.

One local resident ...

Every Vol matters, but some matter more than others

Wed Apr 01, 2015

March 25 marked UT’s annual Everyone Matters Day, and for those who still think it’s trendy to go clubbing on a Tuesday and wake up hungover on a Wednesday, this meant that there were nine locations across campus everyone with a black mark on their hand avoided like ...

Connect UT to solve university’s problems by destroying university

Wed Apr 01, 2015

In a move of sweeping brilliance, members of the SGA platform Connect UT promise to permanently fix the university’s problems by sending the school and all of its unworthy inhabitants straight to hell.

By reducing UT’s students, faculty and facilities to a smoldering crater of death, the students ...

An ode to America’s healthiest grocery store

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Since its opening last week, I have been to “America’s healthiest grocery store” no less than five times.

I have at least six bottles of electrolyte water in my recycling bin, and now whenever I leave my house, my friends ask me if I am going to Whole Foods ...

Meninists declare Women’s History Month cry for attention

Wed Apr 01, 2015

On the University of Tennessee’s campus, National Women’s History Month has caused quite the stir among students.

In honor of the month of March, students are encouraged to learn about leaders of women's history and to take interest in how far they have come. A group of ...

UN unveils newest fraternity: Upsilon Sigma Alpha

Wed Apr 01, 2015

At a recent United Nations conference, representative Chip Skylark motioned to create the world's most prestigious fraternity: Upsilon Sigma Alpha.

After a questionable second motion – also provided by representative Skylark, who merely cupped his hands to his mouth and fabricated several echoes of "seconded"– the committee apathetically began the ...

Hot Dog Man predicts huge Success at Sex Week

Wed Apr 01, 2015

Break out your leather, your mood music, your rainbows and enough contraceptives to block a rampaging herd of elephants — it’s almost Sex Week.

Sexy Emperors Always Touching (SEAT), the organization that single-handedly brought down Stacey Campfield’s regime as Pontifex Maximus of Student Activities, has planned a week full ...

Should universities be investigating sexual assault cases?

Thu Mar 12, 2015

After public outcry for more transparency, the Department of Education released a list of schools under investigation for mishandling sexual assault cases according to Title IX. The list has grown from 55 to 94 schools since April.

Title IX’s original purpose was to require equality for women in athletics ...

Sex Week’s comprehensive approach to sex education combats sexual assault

Thu Mar 12, 2015

How can learning about vibrators prevent sexual assault?

Sex Week, arguably one of the most controversial student-led initiatives in the entire history of the University of Tennessee, is unabashedly committed to covering the spectrum of human sexuality in its programs: “from abstinence to anal beads” might be an alternative slogan ...

50 Shades of hey, it doesn’t have to be this problematic

Thu Feb 19, 2015

E. L. James’ “50 Shades” trilogy and the recent movie adaptation have been making the news for years now. Lately, the dialogue surrounding the franchise has taken a rather frustrating and unproductive turn.

In the beginning, when I first read the series, the think pieces were generally positive and few ...

Obama's prayer breakfast speech rightly puts burden on individual rather than ideology

Tue Feb 17, 2015

While many criticized President Obama's speech at the National Prayer Breakfast as an attack on Christianity and justification of acts of terror taking place across the globe, the outrage prompted by the remarks is the exact reason why they needed to be said in the first place. In referencing ...

Valentine’s letter to my younger self

Thu Feb 12, 2015

Dear Marilyn,

Wait. You don't have to marry S.K. Years from now you will refer to this as your "first marriage" -- your "mother's marriage." I know she has convinced you that you can't survive on your own. You can and will. You will pry yourself out ...

Right stuff, right price

Wed Feb 04, 2015

I'm not quite sure when it happened, but at some point over the past 21 years it was decided that I should leave the sanctity of my parents red-brick colonial and begin the life-long amusement ride that I have come to know as “adulthood.” Now that I am here ...

Senior night reflections

Tue Dec 02, 2014

"Happy senior night."

My friend, Daily Beacon co-worker and fellow senior said this to me as I passed him on the sidelines on senior night in Neyland before the Missouri game. That’s when it hit me: I’m really leaving. 

I might just be moving across town, but it ...

Clearing a path of possibility for native students

Tue Dec 02, 2014

This month, my students and I are celebrating Native American Heritage Month at Twin Lakes Elementary School north of Gallup, New Mexico. It's a place unlike the Tennessee town where I grew up – we are miles away from highways, restaurants and gas stations. Yet this land is rich with ...

Stop the sexual assault shame

Wed Nov 19, 2014

After every sexual assault email this semester, the social app Yik Yak has exploded with activity. The victims, thus far, have each chosen not to file charges, leading many a yakker to wonder: why have these female students declined take further legal action?

Early Sunday morning, a female alleged victim ...

A call to teach

Fri Nov 14, 2014

When I think about my time here at the University of Tennessee, I think about a whirlwind of incredible experiences: dancing in the International Festival, Copper Cellar burger night with friends and singing "Rocky Top" at the top of my lungs in Neyland Stadium. But I also think about the ...